On Monday’s Late Night, Seth Meyers spent several minutes breaking down how President Trump’s allies attempted to defend him as impeachment proceedings get under way. And he started with the “creepiest” member of the White House team, Stephen Miller, who repeatedly refused to answer Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace’s basic questions. 

“Damn, Chris, be careful,” Meyers said after playing the clip. “If you anger him too much, he’ll sneak into your room at night, bite you on the neck and turn you into whatever he is, which I guess is a hairless cat?” 

Then there was Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH), who went on CNN’s State of the Union to “repeat a bunch of debunked conspiracy theories” about Joe Biden, prompting Jake Tapper to tell him, “It’s not gymnastics, it’s facts.”

“It’s fun to see Jake Tapper tell an actual congressman, ‘This isn’t gymnastics,’” Meyers said before imitating Jordan: “What? It isn’t? I was about to tell a lie while doing a handstand on a pommel horse!” 

“Sunday was filled with Republicans flailing in one interview after another because they have no convincing answers for the president’s behavior,” the host said, leading him to House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who Meyers called “by far my favorite dumb guy from the Sunday shows.” 

Appearing on 60 Minutes, McCarthy attempted to catch reporter Scott Pelley in a trap when he quoted this line from the transcript of Trump’s call with the Ukrainian president: “I would like you to do us a favor, though.” 

“Well, you just added another word,” McCarthy said confidently. But Pelley corrected him, saying, “It’s in the White House transcript.” 

“It’s amazing,” Meyers said in response. “I love that his genius defense was ‘you added a word.’ And it wasn’t even true. Also, which word in that sentence does he think, if you took it out, would suddenly make it OK?” 

“Trump and his allies can’t defend their behavior because there is no defense,” the host said. “What happened here is very simple and obvious. The president asked for a quid pro quo, the White House tried to cover it up and they got caught. That’s it.” 

“In a way, we’re lucky that these guys are incompetent morons,” Meyers added later, “because now, rather than sticking together and coming up with a coherent and believable defense, they’re all pointing fingers at each other and trying to blame one another for what happened with Ukraine.”