On Friday night, one week after fervidly defending ex-Fox News host Megyn Kelly over her firing from NBC News (this after she defended the practice of blackface on Halloween), Bill Maher returned to his HBO program Real Time.

And, prior to a softball interview with Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg, the comedian addressed the latest impeachment-trial madness from President Trump’s legal defense team—namely, lawyer Alan Dershowitz’s claim that, because Trump believes “his election is in the public interest… if a president does something which he believes will help him get elected in the public interest, that cannot be the kind of quid pro quo that results in impeachment.”

“You saw Alan Dershowitz, the president’s chief lawyer there at the trial, say that any action taken by this president to help his re-election is, by definition, in the public interest. When did we decide that?” asked Maher. “I can commit any crime if it’s good for me, because then it’s good for America? That’s like saying you can’t arrest a car thief if he thinks he should be walking more.”

“Alan Dershowitz, I tell ya. What happens to these people? Alan Dershowitz used to be normal!” he continued, jokingly adding, “He came up with this idea when he was on Jeffrey Epstein’s plane, which he was a lot. He was getting a massage from I’m sure a completely age-appropriate young lady, in his underwear, and he ran it by her, this theory, and she said, ‘Please, don’t make my job disgusting.’”

(Dershowitz was a close acquaintance of Epstein’s as well as on his legal defense team, and at least two of Epstein’s trafficked victims say that he directed them to have sex with Dershowitz. While Dershowitz admitted to receiving a massage at Epstein’s mansion, in his underwear, he’s denied the claims of sex with trafficked women.)  

Then, Maher reacted with disgust to Sen. Lamar Alexander’s (R-TN) decision to not allow witnesses in Trump’s impeachment trial, thus closing the door on the Democratic pipe dream of actually, you know, allowing witnesses in a trial—instead of a show trial.

“So, it’s a done deal. This is gonna happen. Trump will get acquitted on Wednesday,” offered Maher. “As always, with Trump, nothing will happen to him. He’s had bigger slaps on the wrist from Melania. And in the future, when Trump shoots someone on Fifth Avenue, Mitch McConnell will be there to lick the blood on his shoes.”

“So, we’re officially living in a dictatorship,” he exclaimed, “and not even one with good rail service!”